I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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