I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
