i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
