p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
