Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
