I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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