You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
