actually, I'm a sock model
we made out on top of his cat.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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