is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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