We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
