i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
