he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
