I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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