You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
