hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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