So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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