dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
