Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
