a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
