There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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