Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
