We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
