I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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