You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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