My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
