that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
