i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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