You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
