No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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