Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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