you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
you made out with another girl for some wings
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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