So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
