He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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