They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
