well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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