There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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