Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
