gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
