I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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