Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
