Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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