ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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