Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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