so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
