Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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