God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
