life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
