I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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