Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
