They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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