i may or may not be watching the land before time
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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